TDWF Episode 10

TDWF X: The Eye of the Storm

“Strawberry fields…Nothing is real…And nothing to get hung about…” Falco sang to himself.

“Dude…” Will said, “We’re on air.”'

“Oh yeah!” Falco said.

“We’ve been in here for three hours and I’m going to flip if I don’t do something soon,” Kevin said.

“Shaw’s going to kill me…Shaw’s going to kill me,” Agent repeated to himself.

“Shut up SY!” Jesse snapped.

“I’m Agent!” Agent shouted.

“So what about the cliffhanger from last week?? ‘Marching feet’???” Kevin complained.

“That was the janitor…” Will said.

“Oh,” Kevin said, slumping back into his corner of the prison cell.

The steady march of feet again was heard, this time distinctly two sets. The two guards, armed with their fancy blades stood aside, they saluted the oncoming officers. The guard to the left of the cell unlocked it. The one on the right grabbed Falco and Kevin by their collars and the one on the left grabbed Will and Jesse in a similar manner. The one of the superior officers entered and grabbed Agent.

“This way your ‘majesty’,” the guard said.

The others snickered as the commentators were dragged to an interrogation facility. There they were bound to chairs with handcuffs. “So SY,” the guard snickered, “Your empire lay in ruins….What say you? Where are you hiding your masses?”

Agent grinned, “You know I wouldn’t go down without a fight!” Agent loogied at the guard’s face. “Ewwww,” Jesse mumbled.

The guard slapped Jesse, “You will only speak when spoken too!” he snapped.

Jesse grumbled and shook himself up, but remained perfectly silent.

The guard cleaned off his face, he quickly pulled his naginata out and placed it less than a centimeter from Agent’s face. Agent quivered, eyeing the blade, his eyes then returned to the guard. Agent chuckled, “Go on…Are you really going to kill me?”

The blade tapped Agent’s face, “Do not tempt me…You know well you are Shaw’s sworn enemy,” the guard said.

“So Shaw wants to kill me himself does he?” Agent snickered.

The guard nodded, clearly unnerved by Agent’s calmness. “Yes,” The guard regretfully admitted.

“Gggoooddd,” Agent said.

Back in TDWF Tower…

Ben stirred, “Ugh, what happened,” he muttered.

He looked around and noted he was all alone. “I’m not dead!” He proclaimed.

He smiled, “I have the waffle maker all to myself muw-ha-ha-ha-ha!” he said, darting downstairs to the mess hall.

Back on the ship…

“How’d you get us out of there?” Kevin asked, “I thought they were going to kill us.”

“That’s a plot hole for the audience to figure out,” Agent said, “Let’s just say I know Shaw a little better than you guys.”

“I wonder how Ben is doing?” Jesse wondered.

“I bet he’s trying to steal my waffle maker…” Falco said.

The commentators were thrown back into their cell, Will sighed. “We’re all going to die in here!”

“Well with any look Ben will keep the matches going while we’re gone,” Agent said.

Back in TDWF Tower…

“Hello, and welcome to the TDWF,” Ben said, to no one.

He walked up to the commentator’s booth, carrying a plate topped with three waffles, pineapple, and whipping cream. Ben struggled to carry a bottle of chocolate syrup in his mouth, only to trip down the stairs. This then caused the syrup to squirt open, leaking over the stairs, tarring Ben, and then his waffles smacked over him. To top it off whipped cream and cherries adorned the sliding breakfast of a commentator.

“I’m alive ha!” Ben shouted, trying to clean himself off.

Ben walked up to the commentator’s booth, he tried to work the microphone but it didn’t work, due to the whipping cream getting in its systems. “Okay we’ve got battles coming up featuring Legion, Iyrs, Gamera, and Bagan!” He proclaimed, “And since it’s the end of the season it’ll be even longer!”

Ben sat down spun his spinney chair and then announced, “First match!”

Legion vs. Iyrs

Iyrs landed loudly in the center of the island, making her presence instantly noted. Whereas Iyrs was more straight forward, it was also her downfall. Legion, however, was a more subtle attacker, and she was very, very good at it. Iyrs slowly scanned the area, searching for her opponent. A cracking sound…

Iyrs turned her head, nothing, but a small hill had developed a crack that had not been there before. Curious Iyrs shot her sonic tentacle beams down into them. Sure enough there was a huge explosion, and a howling sound from Legion. Iyrs cackled, alas it was but a distraction.

Legion instantly rose from the ground as Iyrs fell underground. Iyrs screeched as Legion roared in supremacy. Iyrs struggled to fire her sonic beams but it was to much as she fell and Legion crept over her body onto the surface. Legion then took to the skies and hovered over Iyrs.

As Iyrs flailed to get up Legion fired her laser beam. Iyrs screeched as the massive laser from Legion’s horn fired, as an earthquake transpired Iyrs screamed in pain. Slowly a white flag was shot up, as Iyrs was knocked out. Ending the battle…

“Ewwwww,” Ben said.

He turned around and then noted, “My word,” he said, “No one is here.”

He grabbed the TDWF phone and quickly dialed a phone number, it rang for a while. “Come on…Come on,” Ben whispered.

Finally someone picked up, the loud booming music of ‘Rogue Traders’ in the background. “What’s up Ben??!!” The voice said.

“Stormhalt! Buddy!” Ben said.

“What can I do for you?” The voice said.

“Well you need to stop drinking,” Ben muttered, “Everyone disappeared…I don’t know where they went.”

“Well maybe they were abducted by aliens,” Stormhalt replied. “Hey are we on air?”

“I never thought of that,” Ben said.

“Maybe you should give me a job as a commentator then,” Stormhalt said.

“In your dreams,” Ben replied.

“Pppllleeeaaasseee?” Stormhalt said.

“Look,” Ben said, “At least we are giving you a cameo.”

“Oh well,” Stormhalt said.

“Goodbye,” Ben said, “Thank you for your insight.”

“Huzzah!” Stormhalt shouted and hung up.

“What a weirdo,” Ben muttered.

Back on the ship….

Falco was humming ‘Jailhouse Rock’ to himself as he waited for the plot to progress.

“And now?” Jesse asked.

Agent pulled out a hat from nowhere, “Hey!” He said, “Jesse, watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat!”

“Again?” Jesse rolled his eyes.

Agent rolled up his sleeves, “Nothin’ up my sleeves,” he announced, “Presto!”

A tiger’s head appeared and roared, Agent stuffed it back down into the hat. “Hmmm,” he noted, “Musta got the wrong hat.”

“EVEN AGENT’S BORED!!!” Kevin proclaimed, “Some climax this is…”

“Anything else that we should know about Shaw…” Jesse asked.

“Yeah,” Falco said, “This guy has got to have a weakness!”

“He’s allergic to penguins…?” Agent said, “I’ve told you all I know.”

“Well see if you can pull a penguin out of that hat,” Jesse said, leaning back in the cell.

“Ugh!” Kevin said, “We’re five pages in and nothing has happened!”

The clomps of metal boots could be heard marching through the corridor. “What now?” Will asked.

Five guards now stood in front of the cell, they opened it. “You…ALL of you,” The front one announced, badges, scars, and symbols adorning his armor, “Follow me.”

The commentators got up, having nothing else to do. The guard with the fancy badges led the other four, the commentators in between. After making three turns a set of extremely beautiful doors, the guard pushed them open with both hands. Leading into a large ceremonial chamber, the ceiling curving inward into a dome shape.

To the left of the door was a prestigious throne, seemingly designed for a large man; however no one was sitting in it. “Lord Shaw will speak to you…NOW,” the lead guard said, as he and the other guards departed from the room.

The commentators searched the room, but there as no one, not even in the throne, spare a rectangular piece of cardboard lying there, anachronistically, roughly the size of an index card. Still there was a very ominous feeling or presence in the room, like something was watching the commentators. Alas there was nothing there…

Kevin some how managed to translate part of the scripture on the wall, it was something concerning Shaw and SY being mortal enemies. “He-llllllooooo,” Falco said, “Lord Shaw…Dark Lord Shaw are you here??”

No response… “Lord Shaw?” Kevin asked.

Still no response…The room was entirely empty… “Anyone???!” Jesse asked.

“I am here,” A voice sounded through the thoughts of the commentators.

The voice was sweet seducing, masculine, ethereal, and very evil feeling. “W-who said that?” Kevin asked.

“I did,” the voice said.

It was unclear were the telepath was coming from. “I’m here!” the voice said.

The commentators whirled around to the throne. Nothing…Spare that one sheet of cardboard.

The commentators struggled to find something, spare Agent who was grinning like a loon. “Lord Shaw…” Will said confused.

“Yes it’s me, Lord Shaw…Your Lord, Savior, Almighty, and Eternal Master,” the voice said, “Look down you foolish mortals.”

The piece of cardboard sat more erect, if it actually was a thing with features it would be grinning now. All of the commentators burst out laughing, “What’s so funny?” the piece of cardboard asked.

“You are a piece of cardboard!” Kevin chuckled, not noticing Jesse’s sudden shift to seriousness.

“I am Lord Shaw!” The piece of cardboard proclaimed.

“But you are a piece of cardboard!” Will snickered.

Shaw only became more infuriated at this, “I am Lord Shaw emperor of the Fifty First Quadrant of the Milky way Galaxy!” he proclaimed.

“You are still a piece of cardboard,” Falco said, uncontrollably laughing.

Suddenly a telepathic wave shot out, reeling the commentators backward. “I get it!” Jesse proclaimed, standing up, “Shaw was created by SY!”

“What??!!” Agent asked.

“Don’t you get it??!” Jesse said, “Mind over matter! SY was so angry he wanted a scapegoat he called them Shaw. He quivered with a sheet of cardboard; SY’s mental powers animated it. Given the quasi-miraculous nature Shaw took over. Doing exactly what SY said it would! Thus, SY had created his own arch-enemy!”

“What??!” Will said.

“What?!” Kevin asked.

“WHAT??!!!!” Shaw said, “Preposterous man-looks-like-an-armadillo!”

“I don’t look like an armadillo!” Jesse snapped.

“Yes you do,” Agent muttered.

“Now SY,” Shaw said, “I give you one final chance repent and confess your sins and join with me and the same goes for your friends.”

“You’re not supposed to use ‘and’ more than twice in a sentence, that makes it a run-on,” Kevin pointed out.

“Shut up Kevin,” Jesse said.

“Agent why don’t you surrender,” Will suggested.

“Nah we can take this guy,” Agent said.

“Yeah, for crying out loud,” Falco said, “He’s just a piece of cardboard.”

“I AM LORD SHAW AND I OFFER YOU ALLIANCE FOOLISH MORTALS!” Shaw said.

Falco rolled up the sleeves of his ‘I’m with stupid t-shirt’ and prepared to fight. “Oh boy,” Will said.

Shaw hovered above his throne, which was much too big for the tiny piece of cardboard. Shaw chuckled, “To easy,” he said.

“Bring it!” Falco said.

Shaw suddenly shot forward, easily faster than a cheetah, smashing into Falco’s ribcage. Falco went flying backward into the wall, Shaw still pushing on him. Shaw then went for Jesse, instantly kneecapping him and then shattering a rib. Jesse fell to the ground, coughing up some blood and struggling to get up.

Shaw turned his gaze to Agent, Kevin, and Will, “I hope Ben’s having a better time of things,” Agent muttered, as Shaw laughed manically in the background.

Back in TDWF Tower….

The song from the DoctorWho soundtrack ‘Clockwork TARDIS’ played in the background. “Next match!” Ben said, “Then we rescue everyone!”

Gamera vs. Bagan

Gamera landed in the arena as Bagan trudged in. The insane bull-horned monster screeched in utter fury at the giant turtle. Gamera immediately began by spitting out a fireball.

Bagan screeched but replied with a Stellar Ray, Gamera tried to dodge it, but his shoulder was still struck. Being mildly-hemophilic, Gamera began to bleed. Gamera spat another fireball before running forward. As Gamera was able to teach out Bagan, Bagan spun over and used his tail to sweep Gamera right off his feet.

Gamera flailed around on his back as Bagan tried to stomp him. Hit after hit landed on Gamera’s soft under-belly, Gamera’s rocket feet shot off, propelling the turtle forward, and Bagan’s ankles caught straight in the middle.

Bagan snarled and fired a stellar ray, spiraling Gamera out of the air, but also himself. Gamera briefly managed to regain flight, before crashing down onto Bagan, who had just landed on the ground. Bagan was smashed but Gamera’s immense weight.

Bagan crawled out from underneath his terrapine opponent.

“Terrapine?” Jesse interrupted.

Terrapine, in the manner of a turtle, tortoise, or a terrapin.

“It’s still not a word,” Jesse said.

Anyway…

“Hey don’t ignore me!” Jesse said.

Bagan climbed out from under his terrapine opponent and blasted him with a stellar ray. Gamera shrieked and bit into Bagan’s left foot, Bagan kicked upward, even though Gamera’s teeth were driven deeper into his foot, he got the better deal.

Gamera snarled but relinquished his grip. Bagan smashed his bleeding foot onto Gamera’s tusked head, and smashed it into the mud.

1…2…3! Bagan wins!

Ben danced around as the Mortal Kombat theme song played in the background, blissfully forgetful of what he had originally thought to do.

Back in the spaceship…

“I still say terrapine isn’t a word!” Jesse proclaimed, “Ow my chest!”

Shaw hovered himself toward Agent, “Now SY,” he said, “Amuse me you pathetic creature.”

Kevin tried to get up and get Shaw again but was repelled by a wave of psionic energy. Will whispered to Agent, “Hat trick Agent,” he said, “Hat trick!”

Agent nodded, he grabbed his top hat, he then pulled a cane out of it. “What’s he doing??!!” Jesse said.

Falco shook, “Oh no,” he said, “Oh no…No, no, no, no, no!”

Agent cleared his throat and then sang:

“Hello! ma baby
Hello! ma honey
Hello! ma ragtime gal
Send me a kiss by wire
Baby, ma heart’s on fire!
If you refuse me
Honey, you’ll lose me
Then you’ll be left alone
Oh, baby, telephone
And tell me I’m your own!”

Complete with high steps Agent danced, Shaw was quiet perplexed by the odd act, but was less than amused. Agent then ran off, Shaw instantly pulling him back with a telekinetic wave. Falco came over with a vase to try and capture Shaw, but instantly Falco was knocked over by another telekinetic wave.

“How are we going to defeat this guy?” Kevin whispered to Jesse.

“I don’t know,” Jesse responded.

Shaw hovered over the two, he said aloud, “Simple, mortals, you don’t!”

“Ha!” Jesse snapped, “You left one of us behind! He’ll find a way to defeat you!”

“Then I will just have to end him too,” Shaw said, “Such a senseless waste of life.”

Shaw shoved Jesse with a telekinetic wave back up to the wall. “C’mon Ben! C’mon Ben,” Will said.

Back in TDWF tower…

“Baby, baby, baby!” Ben sang, “You are my Voodoo Child – my Voodoo child!

Don’t say maybe, maybe
It’s Supernatural – I’m coming undone!”

Suddenly Ben forgot to watch as he danced, he tripped and bonked his head on a chair.

“You are my Voodoo child…My vooDOO child….My voo…oo…do…child…Don’t say may…bee…may…bee,” he sang, as he was knocked unconscious for a second.

Ben shook his kiwi head and looked around, “Oh yeah! Time to rescue my friends!” he said, raising his index finger.

Suddenly and inexplicably the lightbulb above Ben’s head came back on, despite it’s normally being out. It then combusted, “I have an idea,” Ben said.

Ben ran down stairs, “Commence operation Deus Ex Machina!” he said.

Rushing down the stairs into his laboratory, in a brief fit of genius and physical stamina, uncommon to Ben, Ben made it down ten flights of stairs in less than 45 seconds.

Ben quickly dismantled the LOCUST and rerouted some of its systems, he then grabbed a telephone, some wire cutters, a wrench, the waffle iron, some copper wiring, and a brick of Swiss cheese. He connected the telephone up to the tracking circuit of the LOCUST; he wrenched it on and rerouted a few systems. He ate some of the cheese; he then placed some wires between the LOCUST and the Waffle Iron.

“Ha!” Ben said, “A kaiju-human telepathy communicator thing-i-magjig 2008!”

Suddenly a zapping sound was heard behind Ben as he attempted to fire up the device with the weird name. “Hey!” Ben said, “That is an entirely cool name.”

As the telepathic field expanded outward Ben heard the guards thinking to themselves about to kill him. He turned up the frequency, hopefully for his device and plot device would work in time. As the telepathic field continued to expand even further, the guards could now here Ben, and now were audibly talking, wondering what was going on.

Finally field made it outside the tower as the marching of metal clad feet was heard just outside the laboratory. As the guards hammered at the doors, attempting to break them down, the field finally met its intended recipients: Bagan, Legion, Gamera, and Iyrs.

“What the?” Legion said.

“Listen closely and listen well,” Ben said.

“Oh, hi Ben!” Legion said, “You’re the guy who dies all the time!”
“Hi Ben!” Gamera said.

“BOO!” Bagan said.

“Peace dude,” Iyrs said.

“Okay all my friends are on board a spaceship hovering above the planet,” Ben said.

“Why would we rescue them??!” Bagan sneered.

“Because Agent writes your paychecks,” Ben said, “And because they are the only ones that can save the Earth.”

Legion snickered, “Okay,” she said, “We’ll rescue them…But how will get them back to Earth?”

“Good question,” Gamera said.

“I could put them in my mouth,” Iyrs suggested.

“You don’t have a mouth,” Bagan said.

The telepathic began to expand outward, “Ben??” Will’s thoughts came through.

“Will!” Ben shouted, “I expanded a telepathic field so that…ARGH!”

Two bullets ripped through Ben’s chest as he fell to the ground, “You need to get out of there…the monsters, they’re going to…”

“Going to what?” Will thought.

“Destroy the ship, you have to beam down!” Ben shouted, “Go now…Save the Earth! Get better reviews, we’re under-budget…”

Ben then died there, as the two warriors grinned, their mission accomplished. “Oh my god,” Legion said, “They killed Benny.”

“The bastards,” Bagan said.

“Willie boy,” Iyrs said, “You better start a-running.”
“I just realized I can’t fly,” Bagan said.

“Then keep an eye on things down here,” Gamera said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Bagan said.

Back in the spaceship…

Agent suddenly tried to slap Shaw with his cane. But it do much good, finally Agent found a deep inner-calm and shot out a telekenetic wave, knocking over Shaw.

“Maybe we should run away,” said Will.

“Why,” Jesse said.

“Let’s just call it intuition, to complex to explain here,” Will said.

“Yeah we’re running out of pages,” Kevin said.

“You will not escape,” Shaw said.

Jesse struggled to get up, as Agent somehow managed to pick the lock on the door. “Let’s go!” He said, “Allons-y! Gehen wir! Vámonos!”

Kevin pulled Jesse up as Will and Falco rushed out. Agent was already far ahead, dodging bullets and powering up the transmat ray, with what appeared to be a sonic screwdriver, again committing copyright infringements off the BBC.

“Everyone get in now!” Agent said.

Shaw hovered around the corner, “Get back here!” he said, knocking Agent over, “I will kill you SY, here and now!”

A guard rushed over to Shaw, “My lord we just detected three unidentified flying objects closing in fast!”

“What?!!” Shaw said.

“Get in now!” Agent said, as Falco and Kevin hoped in the transmat, Jesse and Will staggering in.

As Legion’s horn pierced the side of ship the commentators fell into the transmat, as the air was being sucked out of the ship, Agent, apparently unfazed, hit the downward button. The five surviving commentators were beamed back down to TDWF tower.

Upon examining their dead friend’s corpse it suddenly came to realization what the experience had been. The two guards stared in awe at the commentators as a large atmospheric shockwave came down from the exploding ships. “Be gone!” Agent shouted, the two guards were shot backward through the wall and into the next room.

“Whoa,” Jesse said.

Agent then collapsed, “To much psionic exposure,” Jesse said.

“Can we finish the battles?” Will said.

“Yeah,” Kevin said, “Let’s, you can explain what happened later…I just want to finish the season.”

Legion vs. Bagan

Legion landed in the arena and Bagan immediately recognized her presence. Furious that he had been left behind Bagan instantly shot out with his Stellar Ray. Legion still hovering above the ground just slightly was too distracted to open her forcefield.

Legion shrieked as the beam hit her, Legion crashed to the ground. Bagan charged over; appearing like a bipedal bull as he aimed his horns directly at Legion. Bagan snarled smashing his horns into Legion. But they didn’t penetrate; Legion’s exoskeleton was tough, so tough Legion didn’t even bother opening her shield. Legion screeched and reared up on her back legs.

Bagan wearily backed up, slightly worried. Legion’s massive front bulk came crashing back down. Bagan began to warm up his stellar ray, it fired, and Legion fired her laser ray. The two beams collided; the two discharges of energy glittered back and forth hand in hand. Neither one clearly winning…

Finally Bagan’s energy started to wither; and Legion’s broke through. Bagan was sent reeling backward, on to his back. Bagan screeched, but his wounds healed incredibly rapidly. Bagan then fired his super-nova ray, much hotter, and much more powerful than his Stellar Ray, Legion screeched as the blazing ball of light streamed forward to fast for her to react.

Legion struggled to regain her vision, but she was blinded. Her eyes dulled to a deep violet, though she could not see through them, she still stared forward at Bagan. Bagan marched forward, he grabbed on to Legion’s nose horn; Legion swayed trying to shake him off. No avail, she then tried to open, to fire her laser, or her shield; anything to get Bagan off.

Though Bagan’s arm was being severely cut by the sharp horn, he held on, his regenerative powers healing him. Finally a massive yank to the left, as Legion went to the right, the horn broke off.

Bagan chuckled, as Legion’s main weapon was finally off her. Legion tried to fly off, but Bagan caught her and blasted her back to Earth with a Stellar Ray. Legion blindly smashed at the Earth, trying to smash her draconian opponent.

Bagan continued to step just out from under her feet, taunting the titanic fourteenapede.

“Fourteenapede??!” Jesse said, “That’s less of a word than Terrapine!”

“Whoa déjà vu,” Kevin said.

Anyway, Legion had one final trick up her sleeve; a trick Shaw had pulled on the commentators. Legion’s nose-stub glistened as telekinetic waves shot out in every direction, eventually one did catch Bagan. Bagan was lifted into the air as Legion roared, the tendrils of psionic energy crushing Bagan’s windpipe. Finally Legion dropped Bagan.

The daikaiju marched forward; she reared up and began to crush Bagan, crushing him again and again under her tread. Bagan began to regurgitate blood…1…2… And Bagan surrenders, his blood croaking over the white flag…

“Are you sure we can show that one to the kiddies?” Will asked.

“How’s Agent?” Falco said, having a sip of coffee.

“He’s fine,” Jesse said, “Somehow he managed to fire of a psionic wave. I didn’t even think it was mentally possible for a human. But some how he did and it wore him out. And he’s got a bruise somehow on his chest, dunno if that’s relevant but it wasn’t there before.”

“So what now,” Kevin asked.

“Nothing to do but wrap up the season and advertise the next one,” Jesse said.

The phone rang, Falco answered; “Wow, 14 pages,” Kevin said, “We exceeded the last season finale by quite a way.”

“Indeed,” Will said, putting some sugar in his coffee, “Good fight everyone.”

Falco hung up, “That was the Pentagon,” he said, “They were so relieved at our defeat of Shaw they are going to entrust us with some of their more dangerous things.”
“Like?” Jesse asked, “I don’t want this to become Apocalypse Island.”

“Relax,” Falco said, “Just a few barrels of 2-4-5 Trioxin.”

“That’s a herbicide isn’t it,” Kevin asked.

“Yeah,” Falco said, “Nothing to big. Especially by contrast to the kaiju.”

Jesse sighed, “What now,” Falco said, turning to his tired comrade.

“Shaw started out as an idea; an idea so strong and endowed it became it’s own,” Jesse said, “We got rid of SY his creator; but Shaw existed in the minds of all those within his territory. Existing through them… You can destroy an idea once it’s out there… I think this is just the start of our encounters with Shaw.”

“Oh boy,” Falco said.

“Can we get the show over with,” Will said, “I want to go to bed!”

“Yeah,” Falco said, “We’ve hit fifteen pages anyway, and we have our foreshadowing for a future story arc.

“Peace out!” Kevin said.

“Bye,” Jesse said, half-smiling and waving.

The End
TDWF will return during the Holiday Season with
Night of the Living Bens