TDWF Episode 6

TDWF VI: Tabula Rasa

Not to long ago, around a few months. Six brave young men opened up the
Trans-Dimensional Daikaiju Wrestling Federation (TDWF).
Sense that point they have fended off the deadly power that was Dark Lord SY,
A foe whose very face was that of one of their own,
but now begins their next greatest challenge, for there was a inter-galactic force
even SY feared…

“Dude!” Kevin shouted, “Pikachu could so own a Dalek!”

“Nuh-uh!” Agent protested, “A Dalek could so totally beat pikachu! Kill that mouse senseless!”

“Guys,” Will said.

“One shock!” Kevin said, raising a finger, “That’s all it would take! And the Dalek would die!”

“Yeah maybe one shock from a hundred pikachu! But not one!” Agent said.

“Guys!” Will said.

“It would take a hundred Daleks just to scratch pikachu!” Kevin said.

“It would take a billion pikachu to even chip a Dalek’s paint!” Agent said.

“Yeah well it would take a quintillion Daleks to even have pikachu take them seriously,” Kevin said.

“It would take google pikachu for the Dalek to even acknowledge them as a threat!” Agent said.

“GUYS!” Will said.

“It would take a googolplex Daleks for Pikachu to even be frightened!” Kevin said.

“Yeah well…” Agent said, trying to think up a comeback.

“GUYS!!” Will said.

“What?!!” Agent and Kevin shouted.

“We’re on air,” Will whispered.

Kevin and Agent looked at each other and chuckled nervously, “For how long,” Agent asked.

“About a page now,” Will said.

Kevin gulped and looked towards Agent. “Um…ah…Um…” Agent said.

Falco, Jesse, and Ben ascended the stairs, “Right now!” Falco said, “Get to work!”

“Hello ladies and gentlemen!” Agent said, “And welcome to the TDWF: Season Two! I’m the chairman Agent!”
“You’re still the chairman?!!” Falco said, “You tried to kill us last season!”

“Tabula Rasa!” Will said, “Anyway! Welcome to TDWF Season Two! With new plotlines and new recurring jokes!”

“Shhhh,” Agent said, “Shhhhh! We don’t want the audience to notice the lack there of the latter!”

“Yes,” Jesse said, “This season we’ll have new kaiju and even more violence for you to sink your teeth into!”

“And I’m still alive,” Ben cheered.

“Yeah, yeah,” Jesse said, “We’re going to halt that recurring joke…maybe…”

“So first match?” Will said.

“Aye,” Agent said, “Let’s get to it!”

Iyrs vs. Rodan

Iyrs remained calm and simply stood still, she casually looked up scanning the sky for Rodan. Rodan was flying from cloud to cloud, only a flicker of him visible at a time. Iyrs’ head went back down, the irislessness of Iyrs made it difficult to tell where she was looking.

Rodan squawked and began a rapid decent towards Iyrs, at speeds of Mach Five Iyrs had no time to react. Rodan smashed with a massive head-butt into Iyrs’ chest, Iyrs remained calm though, as Rodan attempted to spin around, Iyrs missed Rodan’s wings. But next strike she would be ready.

Iyrs taunted Rodan to come down, Rodan accepted the challenge and came down. This time Iyrs swerved out of the way. Instantly half-a-dozen of Iyrs’ tentacles latched on to Rodan. Rodan tore on them, but Rodan’s life force was being drained. The giant pterodactyl was weakened, Rodan hissed as he bit at Iyrs’ tentacles.

Suddenly another tentacle clamped itself around Rodan’s neck. Iyrs relinquished Rodan with her other tentacles, Rodan fell to the ground. Another tentacle clamped the other side of Rodan’s neck. The two tentacles suddenly turned into opposite directions. Rodan’s neck was cracked with a loud snapping sound.

Iyrs wins…

“Ewwwwww…” Ben said, noting Rodan’s limp body.

Suddenly a small spider-type cyborg creature entered, its three red eyes, placed upon metallic stocks eyed the commentators. One of the organic legs crept forward, it was slightly decayed. The three metallic legs followed, as the five organic legs then crept into place.

Everyone swerved around and looked at the peculiar creature. It was roughly the height of a Labrador retriever. It smelt of rust, old blood, sweaty feet, and stale mayonnaise, its three eyes studied the commentators. They clicked slowly as they rotated; it zoomed in on Agent, before moving to Ben.

It hissed and then unfocused, its four jaws clicked, its breathing sounded like it was wheezing or sighing, somewhere in-between. The spider coughed, as everyone looked at it, perplexed. “Um…ah,” Kevin said, confused.

The spider stared at him in response, its eyes focused in again. An infrared image appeared in its mind, scanning him; it then came back to regular light. The spider crept towards Kevin, it studied him, examining him.

A gun appeared and pointed swerving from commentator to commentator before focusing Agent. “I bet this is what happens when you don’t pay your taxes,” Ben said.

“I did pay my taxes,” Agent said.

“Hey where do we keep the guns around here?” Jesse asked, getting slightly nervous.

“Downstairs past the furnace room,” Falco said.

“I thought you kept one in your boot,” Jesse said.

“Oh yeah,” Falco said, reaching down and pulling out his gun.

The spider looked at Falco, who was aiming at the metallic creature. Suddenly an eerie growling sound was heard, the group turned to Agent, who had fallen asleep in the boring atmosphere of the scene. Falco punched Agent, “I’m awake! I’m awake! I didn’t do it I swear!” he shouted.

The spider’s eyes again faced toward Agent, Agent gulped. “Can we get on with this scene?” Ben asked.

The spider chirped in agreement and promptly shot Ben. “Oh my god! He killed Benny!” Kevin said.

“You bastard!” Agent shouted, raising a fist.

Falco aimed and fired his gun at the spider, the bullet ricocheted off. “Eee!” Jesse said, ducking as the bullet went soaring over his head.

Falco turned the setting on his gun, putting it on a stronger setting. He fired again this time a laser shot out, it incapacitated the spider instantly. “I’ll take it down to the lab and have it analyzed,” Jesse said.

“Kevin,” Agent said, “Give him a hand.”

Kevin nodded, as he aided Jesse lift the surprisingly heavy cyborg spider off the ground and down the stairs. “Ah,” Agent said, “With them out of the way, we can listen to some J.S. Bach!”

Falco rubbed his hands together and played the song ‘Dazu ist erschienen der sohn gottes’. The three remaining commentators sighed in relief as the music calmed them down. “So what model gun is that?” Agent asked.

“Hyper-sonic Raven mark III,” Falco said, twirling the gun.

“Ah,” Agent said.

“So what do you guys think that thing was,” Will asked.

“I have never seen anything like it,” Falco said.

“I know,” Agent said, “Nothing like that on the Earth.”
“Well let’s let the scientists make the educated guesses,” Will said, “Next match.”

“Agreed,” Falco and Agent said.





Mecha-Godzilla 1 vs. Baragon

MG1 marched its way into the arena, Baragon was no-where to be seen however. MG1 scanned the area for its foe, it went to x-ray mode; Baragon was underground. MG1 prepared to fire, but Baragon was far to fast and tunneled underneath his foe.

The robotic dinosaur turned in response but fell instead into a trench. Baragon came from his left and slammed his weight on to MG1.

1…2…

No MG1 managed to fly off. Baragon snarled and looked at his flying foe. A flame was produced from Baragon’s mouth, but he couldn’t get a good aim at MG1. MG1 fired his laser ray and blasted away at his short pink opponent. Baragon screeched as he flew backward in pain. MG1 landed and fired missiles at his foe, Baragon has little chance to recover, but struggled to move forward.

Baragon leapt forward, absorbing all the missiles, flame ray flaring Baragon tried to flam his full bodyweight on to MG1. MG1 responded by catching the monster. In a brief moment the two were hugging, then MG1 slammed Baragon on the ground, placing his own full bodyweight on to the dinosaur. Baragon struggled to breathe but was out of breath.

1…2…3…MG1 Wins!

“So how long till the test results are back?” Agent said, tapping his fingers.

“I dunno,” Will said, “Anyone want a root beer float?”

“Sure,” Agent said.

“Me too,” Falco said, raising a finger.

Will nodded and headed downstairs. “Man,” Agent said, “That spider-thing smelt like burnt rubber and dead fish in a blender with old gym socks!”

“Yeah,” Falco said, noticing the burning smell.

Agent sighed, “I just get the feeling something really bad is going to happen. You know?”

“I do know that feeling all too well,” Falco said, “You think it has anything to do with the Story Arc this season?”

“Oh undoubtedly,” Agent said, he looked around, “I’m bored.”

Will came back up the stairs with some root beer floats, “Cheers,” he said.

Jesse and Kevin came back up as well, “Well the results are back,” Kevin said, “And they aren’t pretty.”

“What’s so bad about an arachnid with some metal on his back?” Agent asked.

“Well the ‘Spider’s’ molecular structure is unlike anything naturally occurring on this planet. In fact it’s near synthetic, and force grown,” Jesse said, “Imagine if you will a genetically engineered corn on steroids.”

“Can we have bacon to go with our root beer floats?” Agent interrupted.

“Shut up,” Jesse said, “The end result is that this creature was born artificially and kept alive through mechanical means.”

“And that’s not the creepy part,” Kevin said, reading off the chart, “The metal we found on its back was Unobtainium.”

“Exactly,” Jesse said.

“Meaning what?” Falco asked.

“Unobtainium is well…Unobtainable,” Jesse said.

“It’s not found on this Earth,” Kevin said.

“And it’s entirely fictious,” Jesse said.

“Meaning?” Will said.

“It’s not real!” Jesse said.

“Then how can it exist?!!” Will asked.

“I don’t know!” Jesse said.

“So the spider was just in our imagination?” Falco said, confused.

“Apparently,” Jesse said.

“Here comes the technobabble,” Agent muttered.

“Take for instance Freddy Kruger or the Isolus,” Jesse said, “Both are capable of channeling psychic energy into physical form. I hypothesize that this maybe the end product of such an event. I may be able to reverse the polarity of the neutron flow and find the creature that projected this thing to begin with.”

“And?” Agent said, “There’s always a catch with these things.”

“If we traverses into another being’s mind it may not be able to contain us for long and we’ll bleed into the real world,” Jesse said, “And we might not have a way back to Earth.”

“How is all this all possible?” Will asked, confused.

“Two things,” Jesse said, “Numero Uno the mind is extremely powerful, and secondly this is science fiction we can do whatever we want!”

“Okay,” Will said.

“The Force,” Jesse said, “Only to more extreme point!”
“What?” Agent said, confused.

“Being able to manipulate things with your mind,” Jesse said, “But this is literally creating things from one’s own thoughts!”

“Confusing,” Falco said, “But I’m sure it all makes sense some how.”

“Gentlemen; we are dealing with something entirely fictious,” Jesse said, “I suggest we use caution if any of these imaginary beings come into existence again.”

“Any questions,” Will asked, “None good, then let’s wrap this episode up.”

Mecha-Godzilla 1 vs. Iyrs

MG1’s rockets softened as he landed, Iyrs followed the robot’s every move. MG1 touched down, the ground shaking as he landed. MG1’s eyes met Iyrs’ eyes, though neither could grin at the pain they were about to inflict on each other they probably would if they could.

Slowly the snake-like tentacles crept through the undergrowth towards MG1. MG1 opened his mouth and fired his flamethrower; Iyrs had no means to duck. But its tentacles were already behind MG1, the tentacles ensnared their robotic adversary. MG1 tried to fire with his eye lasers, but they were far to close, and could not be hit. Finally one tentacle came in front of MG1. MG1 tried to escape, but he could not, so he fired off his finger missiles. To no avail, the tentacle was to narrow to be hit.

Iyrs chirped in amusement as the tentacle opened and proceeded to charge. MG1 still tried to escape, but it simply couldn’t work as the tentacles continued to constrict. Finally a piercing sonic laser was shot out from the tentacle and decapitated MG1 with ease.

MG1’s head fell to the ground and exploded…MG1 stopped squirming as his control unit had been destroyed.

Iyrs wins…

“Well it’s been a fun opening to a new season,” Agent said, “Thank you for your attendance and donations! Peace out!”

“No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!” Ben shouted.

“Particularly when it’s irrelevant to the topic at hand,” Jesse said, “Good night all!”

The End