TDWF 14

TDWF 14: Trial of the Century

“Why the heck did we stop using Roman Numerals,” Falco asked.

“Come to mention it why have we been on hiatus for two months?” Will asked.

“Never mind that there are guys pointing spears at us!” Jesse said.

“Quiet right,” Falco said, staring down SY’s forces.

“You three going to join me or not?” SY chuckled.

“Um...” Will said.

“Yes, yes of course we will Lord SY,” Jesse said.

“Good, good, you just let down an incredibly good cliffhanger,” SY said.

“Lord SY,” A technician reported, “Emperor Ctògó's just docked with the LSYBAMS.”“Good,” SY said.

“We’re receiving a communication’s wave,” The technician continued.

“Patch it through,” SY said.

“Dark Lord SY,” The man on the other side, “It’s been a while.”

“Yes it has Rosencrantz,” SY said.

“My name is Guildenstern!” the man said, “Be prepared for trial.”

“Will do,” SY said, doing a mocking salute.

“Oh crap,” Agent said.

“What was that?” Guildenstern asked, studying SY closely.

“Nothing,” SY said.

“And who are the buffoons behind you?” Guildenstern inquired, “Lawyers?”

“Witnesses,” SY said.

“You have one hour to prepare for trial,” Guildenstern said, “No funny business.”
The view screen cut off, “What does no funny business mean?” Falco asked.

“No warfare before trial, no violence, no trying to escape,” SY said.

“And more to the point what does ‘oh crap’ mean?” Jesse asked, trying to raise one eyebrow but failing miserably.

“Oh crap,” Agent said, speaking through SY’s lips, “Means that today was the day David Tennant was supposed to make a guest appearance.”“How the h**l did we get David Tennant as a guest star?” Falco asked.

“Yeah he’s a big-shot!” Will added.

“It doesn’t matter!” Jesse said.

“Exactly,” SY said, “We must prepare for trial, if these were my jurors I could pass but these are Ctógò’s.”

Back on Earth...

“So we were put on hiatus because of the writer’s computer malfunctioning?” Stormhalt asked.

“That’s what he said,” Kevin said.

“Wh-what if he forgot about us and we were stuck as re-runs forever, I mean I’m only in like five episodes you’re in all 14!” Stormhalt trembled.

“Relax,” Kevin said, “We’re back and that’s all that matters…”

Kevin’s eyes shifted to the calendar, “Oh crap,” Kevin said.
“What now?!!” Stormhalt shouted.

“Today is the day David Tennant is supposed to visit,” Kevin said.

“Well first match then,” Stormhalt said, shaking.

Fire Rodan vs. KaiserGhidorah

Fire Rodan rushed into the arena screeching and firing his energy beam. KaiserGhidorah sped forward to try and intercept the pterodactyl kaiju but the energy beam deterred him from doing so. Fire Rodan soared upward; KaiserGhidorah spun around and shot gravity waves at his opponent.

Up and down Fire Rodan went being smacked against the ground. Kaiser Ghidorah finally relinquished his release over Fire Rodan, who tried to take off but KaiserGhidorah held him down. 1...2...Fire Rodan spat one final energy beam at KaiserGhidorah, but it was to no avail as the 3 was spoken.
KaiserGhidorah wins!!

“Um hi,” A man said, entering the commentator’s booth, “I’m not early am I?”

“Oh my gosh it’s the DOCTOR!!!” Kevin shouted, jumping up.

“I’m not the Doctor,” The man said, he turned to the camera, “I play the Doctor on TV, good evening ladies and gentlemen I’m David Tennant.”

“Hey you have a Scottish Accent!” Kevin said.

“Ah! Imposter!” Stormhalt shouted.

“I only talk with another accent when I perform not many people can understand this voice,” David Tennant said.

“Rrrriiiggghhhhttt,” Kevin said.

“And will you please stop referring to me in the script as David Tennant,” David Tennant said, “Just call me David!”

“Okay David Tennant,” Kevin said.

Back on the ship...

“We need to communicate to TDWF Tower make sure everything is alright down there,” Will said.

“And I need a good lawyer,” SY said, “Establish communication feed to TDWF Tower.”

The visual screen appeared showing Kevin, Stormhalt, and David Tennant, “Stop calling me that!” David Tennant shouted.

“Oh my gosh it’s the DOCTOR!!!” Agent shouted, jumping up.

“I bet you would make a good lawyer,” SY said.

“I’m not a lawyer, I’m a-,” David Tennant said, the transmat cutting him off.

“Good a Scottish Lawyer, now I’m set,” SY muttered.

“Um, Kevin we need a new Ben,” Will said, “Be a good fellow and go make another.”

“Righto,” Kevin said, dashing off.

“Let’s go, allons-,” Agent said, before David Tennant cut him off.

“Don’t you dare say it,” David Tennant muttered.

“Sie,” Fluffy said.

“How’d I get here?” David Tennant said, looking around, “And stop calling me that.”

“It’s called a transmat beam Doctor,” Agent said.

“Oh my gosh it’s the DOCTOR!!!” Ben shouted, appearing from nowhere.

“Doctor, of everything, as I am told,” SY said, “You will be an extremely useful ally.”

“I told you, I just play the Doctor,” David Tennant said.

“Ben!” Jesse shouted, “You’re alive, but how did you...”

“We’ll leave that plot hole for the audience to solve,” Ben said, “Now what is happening.”

“We have a trial to prepare for,” SY said, “How much longer do we have?”

“15 minutes,” Fluffy said.

“Damn,” SY said.

“Not to mention we’re already five pages in,” Agent said.

Back on Earth...

The newly formed clone Ben stepped out of the cloning machine, “Ugh, I am never going to get used to that,” he said, breathing in the cold steam.

“Welcome back kiwi,” Kevin said, shaking hands with the clone.

“And now it’s time for SMURF,” Stormhalt said, “Short Murderous Unnamed Random Fiascoes.”

“That’s not what it stands for!” Ben shouted.

“It isn’t?!!” Stormhalt quivered.

Werewolf vs. Killer Rabbit

Killer Rabbit hopped into the arena, as the Werewolf lunged forward howling at the full moon. Immediately the Killer Rabbit leapt forward decapitating the Werewolf in one simple strike.

Winner is the Killer Rabbit...

“That has got to be the shortest battle in SMURF history,” Kevin said.

“I miss David Tennant,” Stormhalt said.

Back in Space...

“This trial by United Peoples Under Emperor Ctógò of Dark Lord ‘SY’ Augustus,” Guildenstern said, “The charges are Treason, 201,043,781 counts of murder varying degrees, Larceny, 100 counts of Extortion, Bribery, Drug Abuse, Three counts of Indecent Exposure.”
“Oh boy,” Jesse said.

“Don’t give up yet,” Falco said.

“Flying and Driving under the influence, Extortion on the Planetary Scale, Espionage, Blackmail, Hotmail, Gmail, Blasphemy, Conspiracy to commit murder, Conspiracy to Treason, Conspiracy to Conspire,” Guildenstern said, “And 1 unpaid parking ticket. We request no bail your honor. The defendant is the definition of flight risk, and public enemy.”
Emperor Ctógò leaned forward from out of the shadows; he was a mushroom-amphibian like alien with three eyes. He was bald, smelt of decaying fish, a prominent fangs, and pale yellow eyes. “How do we plead,” Ctógò asked.

“Not guilty,” David Tennant said.

“Yeah we are screwed,” Falco said.

“The people calls Detective Phillip Falco,” Guildenstern said.

“Did you just say the ‘People calls’?” SY cackled pointing at Guildenstern.

“Mr. Augustus please restrain yourself,” Ctógò said.

Falco approached the seat up in front; the twelve jurors eyed him suspiciously. Guildenstern held forward the holy book of Ctógò. “Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth so Ctógò help you?” Guildenstern asked.

“I guess,” Falco said.

“How would you describe Mr. Augustus and your relationship with him,” Guildenstern asked, putting the book away.

“I would describe Dark Lord SY as a stupid megalomaniacal moron who loves to kill people with no apparent provocation. He is racially insensitive, ignorant, and is afraid of limes,” Falco said, “Agent on the other hand is just the opposite. He is incredibly thoughtful, smart, and nice.”“I believe the question was about Augustus,” Guildenstern said, “Not this ‘Agent’ person.”

“No but Agent and SY they’re the same guy,” Falco said, pointing at SY.

“Yes we’ve heard the rumors,” Guildenstern said, “We all know they aren’t true... The People rest...”

David Tennant stood up and approached Falco, “Now Mr. Falco if this ‘Agent’ person and ‘SY’ are the same person then just tell us about his good side,” he said, winking.

“Well it’s like I said, Agent is nice, kind, understanding, smart,” Falco said.

“Objection!” Guildenstern said, “He’s feeding the witness answers!”

“Mr. Tennant tread carefully,” Ctógò said.

Half a trial later...

“Well that cut the episode in half,” Falco muttered, watching from the sidelines with Jesse and Ben.

“Mr. Augustus did you commit the crimes mentioned earlier?” Guildenstern asked.

“Darn straight,” SY said, now on the stand, “And I’d do ‘em again in a heartbeat.”

The Jurors all gasped...

Near the end of the trial...

“And need I remind you that helping this traitor is a crime punishable by death,” Guildenstern said in his closing argument, “Make your vote matter.”“I’m an actor, not a lawyer, I have nothing,” David Tennant said, beguiled.

Five minutes later...

“Have the people made their decision?” Ctógò asked.

“We have your Honor,” A juror said, “We find the Defendant, Augustus guilty of all counts.”“Then,” Ctógò said, “I sentence you to the Bruits chamber to die a day later. And that goes for your allies too.”

“What?!!” David Tennant shouted.

Six armored guards placed handcuffs around Agent’s, Falco’s, Jesse’s, Will’s, Ben’s, and David’s hands. They then jammed their rapiers into their prisoner’s backs, edging them forward.

“Man, this sucks!” Will said.

“Yeah,” Ben said.

Ctógò escorted SY down, “I didn’t want to do this SY,” he said, “It makes me sad to see such a worthy adversary go down like this.”“Oh-ho, don’t worry,” SY said, “I’ll be out of here in no time.”“We shall see,” Ctógò said, going the other way.

Soon enough the heroes were brought to a metal door, they were un-handcuffed and shoved inside. It was a massive dome inside, a crystal dome, perfectly see through. It was there that they realized that they were on top of a massive space-station, and there right beside it was the Earth. “Wow, this is like the third time this has happened,” Jesse commented.

It was smooth tiles inside, “What exactly is a Bruits chamber?” Falco asked.

“It’s a chamber that amplifies moonlight and then uses it to burn people alive,” Agent said, calmly.

“Reassuring,” Jesse said.

“How long do we have?” Will asked.

“About five minutes,” Agent said.

“I never thought it would come to this,” Will said.

“Gentlemen, it’s been an honor,” Falco said.

The commentators on board nodded, “I’m getting out of here!” SY said, smacking into the glass wall.

“Oy, Doctor use your sonic wrench or whatever it’s called to get us out of here!” SY shouted.

“Why should I help you?!!” David asked, “This is all your fault we’re all going to die because of you!”

“What better way is there to die,” SY asked.

David ran forward and began to strangle SY, SY kicked him in the groin.

Dark Lord SY vs. David Tennant

David staggered backward but punched SY backward, making the alien warlord loose a tooth. “Fantastic,” David muttered before punching SY again and again.

SY telekinetically shoved David backward, but the BBC actor was back on his feet and delivered a bicycle kick to his opponent. SY back-flipped over kicking David on to the glass. David pulled himself up just dodging a punch from SY. Tennant then grabbed SY’s head and smashed it against the glass repeatedly. SY whipped the blood off his mouth and backfisted Tennant.

After that SY released a volley of fireballs all of which Tennant dodged. SY grumbled and tried to jump kick David, but the actor grabbed on to his leg. SY’s leg was smashed onto David Tennant’s knee, breaking it.

“Okay you know what,” SY asked, “I surrender.”

DAVID TENNANT WINS!!!

Despite SY’s surrender, David smashed SY into the wall and then crushed his head into the tile with his foot. “F**K YOU, YOU M**********G SON OF A B***H!!!” Tennant said.

At this point David Tennant had been invited to appear on a lame show, abducted by aliens, forced to be a lawyer, and was now imprisoned he had now lost his sanity. “Just calm down and look at the moon,” Will said, patting David on the shoulder and directing him to the moon, “The thing that is about to burn us to death.”

David stared at the moon and laughed hysterically as his irises and pupils began to disappear. “I think he’s lost it,” Ben said.

“I concur,” Jesse said.

SY looked up as David continued to chuckle manically. “What is his problem?!!” Agent asked.

The moonlight began to shoot through the dome, covering the heroes. Tennant looked at the commentators like a starved tiger would a deer. “I’m backing up now,” Falco said, walking backward slowly.

“Yeah me too,” Agent said.

Jesse, Will, and Ben also backed up. “What’s wrong?” Tennant cackled, “Scared?”

Tennant turned to face the moon again and continued to chuckle. His heart began to beat rapidly and loudly, even the commentators could hear it. Tennant’s eyes no longer had pupils or irises, they had vanished. A tail suddenly shot out from underneath his suit, and Tennant began to ripple with muscles. Hair began to grow all over his body as he grew in size, his face extended further. “What’s happening?!!” Jesse asked.

Tennant began to grow bigger and bigger his features becoming more and more distorted, “Taste my true power!” he shouted.

“David Tennant...” Agent said, “is...a saiyan?!!”

The Great Ape finally reached its full height as David looked down, “Not just the average actor am I now?” He asked, his voice booming, “Maybe I should have been a Special Guest Star, hmmmm?!!”

The surface suddenly imploded under the Great Ape’s weight. “We need help!” Jesse said.

“Who’d help us now?!!” Will asked.

“I have an idea!” Agent said.

“Well what is it?!!” Falco asked.

“Final match!” Agent shouted.

KaiserGhidorah vs. Great Ape David Tennant

KaiserGhidorah rushed into outer space to rescue the Commentators. Only to be met by the massive Great Ape. The two were at first confused startled by the other’s presence. But soon Tennant engaged the first blow. “Super Galick Gun!” He shouted, shooting an energy blast at KaiserGhidorah.

KaiserGhidorah dodged it with relative ease and retorted with a gravity beam, to which Tennant dodged with ease. The two immediately engaged in melee combat, Tennant punching the three headed dragon, while KaiserGhidorah grabbed Tennant’s shoulders with two mouths and began to drain energy. Tennant hissed and bit down the middle neck. KaiserGhidorah struggled to break free but it was no use.

Finally the outer heads let go but Tennant did not let go of the middle head. Finally the middle head came off. Tennant chuckled and spat the neck out. “Death Ball!” He shouted, firing a massive energy wave, but it collided with two gravity waves.

KaiserGhidorah struggled to keep the Death Ball from coming any closer and managed to push it back to Tennant. “Galick Gun!” he shouted, shooting an energy wave into the back of the Death Ball.

The immense force was too much the Death Ball shot forward and completely obliterated KaiserGhidorah.

DAVID TENNANT WINS!!!

As the Great Ape won he pounded his chest in victory, “What do you think of my power now b***h who do you think you are?” He growled, but then the floor gave way and the Great Ape sunk into the ship below.

While this provided the heroes with the means to escape it was dangerous as now David Tennant the legendary Saiyan warrior was somewhere inside. “Well we’re about to breakout of prison with our worst enemy, on a damaged ship crawling with hostiles, and there’s a 300 foot monkey on the loose. What could be worse?” Jesse asked.

Agent pointed out the window, “The fact that we’re about to crash into Earth’s atmosphere!” he said.

“S**T!” Jesse said.

Back on Earth...

“David Tennant’s gone mad and there’s a spaceship about to crash into Earth,” Kevin said.

“Oh crap!” Stormhalt said.

“There’s only one man we can call to help us in this situation,” Kevin said.

“Who’s that?” Ben asked.

Kevin picked up the phone and dialed the operator, “Yes, hello,” he said, “Yes, get me Christopher Eccleston...”

To be continued...